"Forevermore."

It seems to me that no matter how hard you try to, you can't ever seem to forget your first passionate love. For a really long time, they'll be on your mind, and from time to time at any stage of your life you'll fondly remember them. Once you have experienced your first true love, there is no turning back ... There's no substitution or other real "first love", it's all them. Every time you see them, your heart flutters, you take a mental look back on all the feelings and memories of the past. Their certain look, smell and personality hitting you all at once takes you back to a simpler time. Do we ever give up on our once great love, the first one that is, or do we just lockup the spot that they once had inside of our hearts because we at one point trusted them wholeheartedly with it? I think that once we gave them that special key, they went to the store and made a million copies. In my case, it is Lucas.

It seems that once in a blue moon, that person vandalizes our hearts, smashing everything in plain view. They then leave the door off its hinges, open to anyone and everyone willing to finish the job. Although but an hour ago, Patrick and I parted ways from our relationship, Lucas still seems to be my main focus. Although I know that Lucas would never fall for a girl that is like me, I never seem to give up and quit trying to change his mind. Could it be that my current and past feelings for Lucas caught up to me, overriding those which were intended for Patrick alone? I don't know why I keep trying to win over Lucas' heart, I really don't. Those feelings that I have for him that I can't even interpret basically destroyed all that I had with Patrick. Lucas is forever chasing these chicks who're the total opposite of me - They're model thin, beautiful salon-styled straight hair, with clear skin and a killer fashion sense. Where as I don't mind eating a sandwich, have home-styled spiral curls, I prefer Walmart with the occasional Aeropostale look, I have acne and not the greatest looks with my black eyes and the color that I have in me (I'm Puerto Rican and Italian, which presents me with an olive skin tone.) With all of those differences, I still somehow force myself to believe that regardless of what these other girls have, they'll never be the kind of girlfriend and person that I am ... They'll never have my personality or my love for music, writing, and various things - Ergo, I keep finding myself going back for more, because I feel that what we could have together is well worth his time and my perpetual heartache.

To summarize what I've written, I leave you with this : Although your first great love may be in love with someone else, don't ever forget that they'll never be able to completely replace you. The new person that's in their life will not have your heart, looks, personality, smile and their love will never be able to compare to the love you had. There's so much more to what I just said and what you believe in, but we all have those stories that we never tell. I wish all of you the best of luck in your relationships and the situations that you're in along with the problems that you may or may not be facing. I also wish you all a blessed and very Happy New Year ... Forevermore, I promise you that fate does what it does for a reason and even though you may not understand why, note that there's always a solution hidden somewhere.

P.S : Thank you for all the accolades and views. I'm thoroughly thrilled to see all of the success in this blog! Love you all very much - Thank you for the support.

"The Power Of Female Sex."

All the English that I seem to encounter at home is "bills, bills, bills." I envy these certain women whose lives are nothing but a blur of rich men, designer clothes and glamorous resorts. Where they don't actually work for a living, yet possess a dazzling sexual power they exploit to their full advantage ... Which presents a certain conundrum : Where exactly lies the line between professional girlfriend and just plain "professional"?

Women do have the right to use every means at their disposal to achieve power. Some may argue it's short of sleeping their way to the top, but what if that's not what it takes to compete? If it is a matter of actually sleeping your way to the top, some women may speak of it to be the exploitation of men, which under their own belief "is perfectly legal". But I believe this advocates a double standard - Women can use their sexuality to get ahead whenever possible, but men shouldn't be allowed to take advantage of it? I'm only trying to say in the event of exploitation, that men and women are equal-opportunity exploiters.

So, where is the said line between professional girlfriend and just plain "professional"? The same line that is drawn by the social normality. Put a label on it and everything is suddenly much more justifiable (She's his girlfriend, so it's okay ; She's not even his girlfriend! What a gold-digging tramp). But there is an upside to these labels. Just like an extravagantly fabulous pair of Manolo Blahnik pumps, you can put them on and take them off at your leisure - Unless of course you are a certain miss Coco Chanel. Then you surely want them on because it's an extra three grand in your case. But that's the beauty of your own brand - Attach, detach. Whichever suits you the best.

"The Only Exception."

Love can be life changing ... It can be absolutely wonderful or downright awful. It can be the cure for a heartache, or can make one worse. The great part about love is how it's like fate - Anything involved with it happens for a good/plausible reasoning. Sometimes we fall in love and that's okay (Always listen to your heart but do not leave your head behind as that too is very important.) The thing I like most about love is when you find somebody you believe in, that same somebody being the person who wants to be with you, always - When you're both petrified by the thought of somehow losing each other. However, falling in love may come with some consequences. There's always that lurking fear of getting hurt or losing that person. In my case, I don't hold too much faith in love. It's always wound up being yet even more devastation for me in the long run. It appears that in one way or another, we wind up getting hurt. I try and avoid falling in love at all costs, because whenever I get emotionally attached to someone, I wind up alone and broke unable to get up ... But this is apart of life. Which will now lead me to my point : Believing in the same circumstances as I do, you'll always have that one person who's the exception to the rules. (I.E - Patrick)

When having said "only exception", there is still a great risk of pain in the long run. Although I fully comprehend this, I find it best to just live life, letting love play it's role. If I end up hurt, so be it ... I will only further learn from my mistakes. Anywho, me meeting Patrick was probably the greatest thing that could have happened to me honestly. Our relationship could not be any better than it is right now. We started out as acquaintances, only conversing if we were taking the same bus home that day. Eventually, we decided upon exchanging numbers and frequently talk more of hanging out. Which escalated to hanging out on the regular, which made our friendship much stronger. One day at a dance, we had been hanging out the entire time ... I remember this moment fondly as if it just happened. We were sitting and he leaned (up) to me and said this : "If I were any older, would you contemplate dating me?" I was dumbfounded and speechless, as I was still wrapped up in Lucas, leaving my confusing love life to be a hot mess. I scurried for a response and said this : "I'm not sure ... I have to be into who I'm dating and I'm just unsure about some things." I could feel his sadness and his stress, almost as if it were to be my very own. I tried to give him the friendliest hug I could, as retribution for the inconsistencies and shortcomings that consume my love life. After about a week later, he asked me out again, and thankfully I said yes. This was on November 9th, which is actually a coincidence, considering that my birthday falls on a 9th. So far we've been exclusive for roughly a month now, and things couldn't be better. We flirt like we're lovers, argue like a married couple, and talk like best friends - I love it. Although I do have my occasional doubts about the relationship, I've realized that it's not because we're losing that spark, it's simply because I've experienced a bad day consumed with total jackasses. I'm really blessed to be with a dude like him. I simply adore our spontaneous hugs as we see each other periodically throughout the day, chasing each other with our shoes we try to throw at one another in some outlandish battle of the laces. I love how we can just be ourselves and completely goof off, without being taken too seriously and our attempts of actually being romantic (Which always seem to be epic fails as neither of us are bachelors of romance.) But what I adore most, was in the moment of us holding hands when at the movies. I can't wait to see what exactly the future holds ; whether it's for the greater good or the greater evil...

You see guys, sometimes we just need to go outside and take a deep breath, letting fate handle the rest. Although love has it's distinctive ups and downs, many valuable lessons are included in those situations for free - Everyone enjoys a bargain especially in this economy. I'm not trying to sugarcoat a lemon here, as love in and of itself won't get easier each subsequent round. It's similar to playing Twister ; the farther into the game, the more compromising the position. I hoped I served as a help to you all, and I wish all of you the greatest of luck in happiness, life and love.

"When I was younger I saw my daddy cry and curse at the wind...He broke his own heart and  I watched as he tried to re-assemble it...And my mamma swore that she would never let herself forget. And that was the day that I promised...I'd never sing of love, if it does not exist. But darling you are the only exception...you are the only exception."

-Paramore. 

"Flicking The Switch."

In-between relationships, there's always a rough patch. Sometimes, it's a battle of who you've fallen in love with ... You really like two people, but you're simply stuck in-between the both of them. It becomes the battle of what you need from what you want, similar to a (sad) 'Twilight' love triangle ordeal. At other times, it's simply the deeply emotional process of getting over your former lover. No matter what has happened in the past, it is in the past for a reason, leave it there and then try something new for yourself. Remember, when the past calls it has nothing new to say. What you really should be doing is looking forward to your future. Flicker on the light switch to the bright future that you have in your possession.

As some of you guys may already know, I was in a battle between two dudes I couldn't choose from. One of them, (Let us call him Lucas), I have fallen in love with over time. However, how am I to be sure it was (is) love? Well ... Personally, I don't think the simple crush lasts for a year, but hey that's just me. Anywho, the other dude is my current boyfriend Patrick. I had hoped for so much in Lucas that Patrick already had. I had really wanted Lucas to be mine, while Patrick unbeknownst to me, had to offer everything that I wanted that I saw in Lucas and Lucas only at the time. I hoped that Lucas would understand my feelings for him, all while Patrick was really trying to get me to understand his feelings for me. You see guys, while we may be sitting here yearning for a person that we don't have any visible future with, another person is trying to do the same with us. Last night at movie night, I had flickered on a new light switch. This particular light switch has lit the way for a much brighter future than I thought I had. Although it was a seemingly small step in the relationship, it felt to me as if a new door opened. Enough with all the banter, here's what transpired.

Patrick and I were watching a movie along with the welcomed company of close friends. It was decent, and it did involve some dancing and singing at times. Towards the ending, Patrick leaned (up) and over and said to me this : "You know ... If the freaky guy with the beard frightens you at any point, feel free to lean on my shoulder at any time you choose." I was happy yet amused, as Patrick is four inches shorter than me, so in order to do such a thing, I'd have to discombobulate and re-position my whole body in the rather small chair. During the flick, there was that intensely apprehensive 'hand-game' where you both really want to hold hands, but just as soon as your close to doing so, you get frightened or startled and back out. After a while of the anxiousness this annoying game brought, I leaned in (Or down, you could say) and said, "You know ... For whatever reason, if you feel the need to hold hands, feel free to do so..." Shortly after that uncomfortable moment, he then said, "So ... Is that hand-holding opportunity still open or?" I then nodded in agreement. After some dancing and singing with his buddies, he moved his hand over to where our forefingers met. Slowly, we moved into locking fingers, which brought upon these feelings I cannot describe in words - The crazy 'needs-to-be-mentally-evaluated-and-over-analyzed' me would probably relate the emotions to rainbows. But the intellectual, responsible me would say that it was a heartwarming feeling to say the very least. I was tingling from my head to toes, it felt as though my heart was running a marathon, I could finally feel the hope sparkling in my eyes and future. The feelings were indescribable and definitely a once-in-a-lifetime moment.

So you see my friends, where this is darkness there too is light. In other words, my experience last night made me feel as though everything was going to be okay, better than okay. In flickered the switch to a great relationship, which was at first only intrigued by a small spark. Now that this has happened, I feel as if everything at the moment is perfect and I have zero complaints. I feel like I dug deep inside of myself to flicker that switch to the new beginning I desperately needed. To the majority of you, this probably seems like the smallest step into a relationship, but throughout everything I have never felt this way before. It was truly amazing and my only hope now is you can experience what I experienced last night, and very soon...

"Twist Of Fate."

In a modern day society, it has become almost trendy to worry yourself too much ... Especially for people in relationships. It seems that no matter what you do, there's always that "what if" inextricably linked to almost everything. There are countless things that people fixate on when in a relationship. What if (s)he hasn't fallen for me like I have for them - Am I setting myself up for total heartbreak and failure? What if (s)he cancelled on me not because they're busy, but because they couldn't be bothered to spend the evening with me? And let us not forget the typical female concern of as to whether or not I am fat (That thought always seems to haunt us girls regardless of just about anything these days)...

Basically, no matter how hard we really try to avoid it, "what if" just always makes its' presence known in our everyday lives. I'm here to tell you this my friends : Try seeing it in a different perspective and lessen your unnecessary worries. Everything happens for a reason, correct? One thing leads to another, so what's the point in worrying so much? 'Fate' is said to be what inevitably constructs our lives ... So, in the aftermath of anxiety, depression and stress, we'll be lead to the ending that just does it for us, am I right?

Although, I'm fully aware that when in a moment of despair, it's challenging to see things in such an easy perspective. Fate has set up quite the obstacle course ... It's called 'life'. If it had not been for the events of yesterday and all the days prior, you wouldn't be where it is that you are now. If it hadn't been for then and now, you wouldn't get to where it is you'll be tomorrow and the days after it. See things in a more positive manner rather than negative, then can you strive to be the best you possible, eventually leading yourself to a life that you always desired. =)

"Now Leaving : Friend-Zone."

Friend-zone: the wonderful feeling when you continuously show your best friend that you love and care about them and want a future with them, even when the other person understands all of this and she/he acts like they like you when they really just want to be friends. In other words, friend-zone sucks. No one wants to be friend-zoned,  but unfortunately, it happens every single day. For those who don't quite understand what friend-zone is yet, it's when you show and/or tell the person you really like that you really like them, yet they still choose to see you as a friend. However, what happens when you finally leave the friend-zone? Well, I can tell you this, my friends: it can be great but deadly.

Allow me to explain. I have been friends with a kid named Patrick for about a year or two now. He is funny, playful, optimistic, warmhearted, etc. He has been sending me signals for a while now that he really likes me and sees so much more than other people see. For a long time, I ignored this. I was crushing on a kid who I obviously had no chance with. I had a better chance of hooking up with Josh Farro or Ted DiBiase than this guy (lead guitarist for Paramore and WWE wrestler). Anyway, about a week ago, I finally realized that all I was hoping for in the guy I liked was already in Patrick. It was then when I realized that I had friend-zoned a great guy who loved me for who I was and saw my imperfections as beauties. I then risked all of the friendship we had by going out with him. So far, I'm so glad I did. We are hanging out more, the jokes are funnier, we can be ourselves around each other, and we never take anything too personal.

With all of the benefits of dating someone you've friend-zoned, there comes the deadly part. There's that fear that if the partnership hits a down-point, you may be putting every ounce of friendship you had in great danger and then losing it all. Also, there's the criticism of others that may occur in any relationship that puts a great amount of pressure on you and your partner. You have people making fun of you because maybe you're a girl and you're a lot taller than your boyfriend, which happens to be the case in my situation. Also, the criticism may be more offending such as differences in skin color; also an issue with Patrick and I.  Maybe you're Italian or Hispanic or African American, and your girlfriend/boyfriend is Irish or Asian or Caucasian. People tend to make unnecessary comments about these things and it can cause couples feel insecure about their relationship. 

Despite the disadvantages of dating your best friend, just think of the positives. Hopefully you're happy in the relationship, hopefully you're faithful, and hopefully, the other person in the commitment feels the same. If something wasn't meant to happen, it wouldn't have happened. If something is supposed to happen, it will. If something is/or was meant to be, it is/was meant to be. On the other hand, by dating that person, you have just made them the happiest person alive. However, If you don't have complete feelings for that person, I suggest you let him/her know so you can both work something out. If you  think you do, but you're just not sure, I would just take it slow. Leaving the friend-zone is great, but remember; follow your heart, but don't leave your head behind. I wish you the best of luck, and I just want to wish everyone a Happy (early) Thanksgiving, also! Have a great time with the loved ones, and don't forget to be thankful for everything you have in life. Including that special someone that you hold near and dear to your heart. I wish you all great happiness and hope, and great luck in any (if any) future relationships. =)

---Also, I hope to get back onto a solid track, such as posting every other Friday. I am still open to any comments/advice/suggestions that you all may have.

"The Paranormal Attraction."

What's a gal to do, in the stressful event that a guy she called it off with six months ago, still won't budge in letting that relationship go and further moving on? You were the one to call it off with him, yet he's the one who perpetually keeps crawling back to you. What are you to do in this predicament? Even more importantly, where are you to go?

Here's just a free thought, when a relationship unfortunately dies, are we just doomed to being forever haunted by the spirits of the relationships' past? Could we ever really give up the ghost of what could have been or will it always come back to haunt us in some way? The answer to all of these questions is likely yes. If that person truly has feelings for you and you simply have just nothing to offer in return, there's nothing you can really do about it. I know it may hurt to see someone else in pain because you are missing from their life and solely because of you in general, but it's just something you both will have to learn to deal with and accept.

It's just a part of life after all. Fate can be one of these two things : blatantly cruel and downright harsh, or pleasing and absolutely terrific. This would be the cruel part of fate making its presence known, if you couldn't already tell, which I have gone over numerous times in my latest postings here. This type of situation may be sad and depressing now, but hey sooner or later, you will find someone or something to relieve you of the stress being brought about. Perhaps it may be a Nicki Minaj or Nickelback song, your best friend, even a cousin, or a sister, etc. But one way or another, you will overcome the scenario, regardless of how unbelievable that may appear now. As always I really hope this helps you, and if it unfortunately doesn't, I'm truly sorry. Just hang in there as I promise you things will get better. They always seem to do. It is only the way of the world. =)

"Lost, But Found."

Everyone has misplaced something before. There's no doubt about it. Whether it's your car keys, an expensive watch, your important wallet, a valued piece of jewelry, or maybe even your mind at one point in time. But eventually you retrieved it, right? Well, it's actually the exact same concept with relationships...

No matter who you are, you've had good and you've had bad relationships. Whether you've had those relationships where you dated the person solely to make them happy, or if there was a complication with cheating, in the end, we made it out alright and perhaps even stronger and more wise, am I right? We must've reached a point, where either we've felt blissfully amazing and worthy and where we've felt like nothing could take us down, or when we felt like absolutely nothing in the entire world could have been more special and wonderful ; Maybe we've even felt that without the comfort and/or support of a boyfriend/girlfriend! On the contrary, we've all felt something awful, too. Like catching the other person in the act of cheating, or maybe we've even entered an unhealthy relationship that consisted of emotional, mental or even physical abuse. Maybe we've entered a relationship where we once thought that the other person accepted us and loved us for who we were, but in actuality, that person was doing the complete opposite when our backs were turned. But either way, we've successfully made it through all of that, no? No matter what, we must have entered a little stage where life was just fantastic. Whether it was for a day, for a week, for a month, or even for a whole year or two. We've successfully gotten over at least one big hill yet, yes?

I find fate truly amazing. Everything happens for a reason. Everything. Think about it. If you had not met certain people along the way, your life definitely wouldn't be the way it is now. If you hadn't dated that one person who completely crushed you and tore your heart simply to shreds, you wouldn't know what to do in a situation similar to the one that happened. Or things could have had nothing to do with relationships, but it still somehow inevitably leads you to have great future relationships. Although it could also lead you to have absolutely horrific future relationships, those horrific relationships still somehow lead to even greater ones. Lets say you were abused as a child. Emotionally/Mentally/Physically. You thought that, that one person would save you and make you happy and feel wanted in this cruel world we live in. You thought that you weren't meant to be with anyone but them. But things changed. That person wasn't what you thought they were, and they completely crushed you. Either your family and/or friends helped you overcome that pitiful relationship, or perhaps even something you read online proved to be a help in the situation, such as blogs or quotes. That relationship somehow still made you stronger in the end, as did the one that was after that, etc. Everything happens for a reason you've got to believe that, and when things do happen, the overall outcome is what you strive for because it brings pure happiness and joy to your life.

With all of this said, in the conclusion, at one point, we will certainly overcome all those issues and problems that seem to weigh us down a whole lot. Because we will marry that one person who brings meaning to our lives that's filled with true love, who will never fail to make you feel like the greatest person in the world. You will both wholeheartedly love each other unconditionally, and want to be together forever and always. You will be eternally there for eachother through sickness and in health, for richer or for poor, till death does you part...and all of that other mushy and wedding-ey stuff. Even if everything goes wrong, you have at least felt that way before, and you just couldn't say that you didn't. That's where this little thing called fate comes into play. Fate is what we begin to see inevitably shaping our whole lives. And with that being said, even though we've felt like we've lost something or someone, we've found what we've been missing and we bounce back. We were lost, but we were also found. =)

"Is One Really The Loneliest Number?"

When it comes to relationships, everyone thinks that they have to be in one. For example, let's say all of your friends and/or co-workers have boyfriends/girlfriends, and you are the only person who is single. Your first thought is "Wow...what's wrong with me? How come everyone else is in a relationship, but I'm not? Am I ugly? Am I not buff enough? Do I have too much acne?" The truth is, no, you're none of that. Not for nothing, everyone is beautiful in their own way. I'm not saying this to sugar coat a lemon, but in all honesty, I'm saying that everyone has those beauties which are amazing and wonderful to some, but may be a disgrace and turnoff to others. It just depends on if a person decides to focus on your imperfections or focus on your perfections.

Anyhow, while you might think that you belong in a relationship, most of the time that's not true. If you were truly meant to be in a relationship, then you would be. Think of it like this; would you rather be in a relationship where the two of you can be loving, respectful, and faithful towards eachother, or rush things and be in a relationship where there is no trust, faith, or feelings for one another? When you rush things, everything doesn't and probably won't turn out the way you want them to. Either you may not have a spark for that person, or you just don't trust that person. In the end, you'll probably just end up hurting the other person. That is, if that person had true and strong feelings for you.

In the end, sometimes it's best to just sit down, lay back, and enjoy life before you have to worry about what you're going to wear for that date on Friday night or if you should start going back to the gym every morning. Sometimes it's easier to just enjoy life while you still have your freedom. I'm not saying that being in a relationship limits your freedom, but it does put a few restrictions on it. So before you enter saddness mode about not having a relationship while everyone around you is currently in one, take the time to think: "Is that person really happy in that relationship? Does Julie really want to be with Chris? Is Mike being unfaithful towards Willow?" because sometimes, being one instead of two (single instead of taken), might just be better for you, and will most likely lead you to a great start in your future relationship!

"Is This Really Love?"

Before I get started, allow me to clarify what I  mean by the title of this post, as that could mean many things. In this post, I will be talking about abusive relationships and what I think one should do in the event of an abusive girlfriend/boyfriend. Remember, this is only a matter of opinion, so I hope to help others as best as I can! Also, this is a response to my first suggestion, made by Christine.

Anyhow, let's get to the post. Allow me to start with this: nobody deserves to be abused. Whether it's domestic violence, bullying, or abuse in a relationship, it's just not right. But, in the situation of relationship abuse being mixed with love, many seem to get lost when trying to find the right solution. Sometimes, people enter an abusive relationship because they think they don't deserve anything better than that. Most likely, people will do that because of child abuse or getting neglected by family and/or "friends" on a daily basis. This is normally followed by depression and stress.

Love can be challenging. For example, let's say you have been in love with a kid named Peter/Christina. But, Christina/Peter is an abuser, which you are not yet aware of. Peter/Christina asks you out, and you become a great couple; for now. Before you know it, Christina/Peter is yelling at you constantly, always trying to put you down, and worst of all, abusing you. It's not a fun game to play. The worst part is that you've been in love with this person for a while now so you're stuck in the decision of whether or not to stay with Christina/Peter. 

What's even more horrid is that you may fear of breaking up with that person because you fear that person may try to harm you in ways unthinkable. You don't want to break up with them because you love them, and is now afraid of what might happen if you let that person go. Well, with little experience in this chapter of relationship problems, here's my advice to you.

Let that person go. Get solid proof of that person abusing you or any other family member of yours (ex: kids, nieces, nephews, little cousins, etc.) and contact the authorities. Depending on how severe the situation is, that person should face either fines or get arrested for however many years. You may not want to let that person go, but what is a relationship if one is intended to hurt the other person in any way? Not a very good one. Once you let that person go and the pain and depression and stress is gone, you'll feel better. A lot better. To ease the tension of after the break up, hang out with some friends. Chill and watch a movie at the local theater or grab dinner at a sushi restaurant. Or, if you're like me and can't have sushi because of an allergy to seafood, grab some lunch or dinner at a steak house. Another option is to just hang out with a sibling and talk it out and watch a movie or watch TV or even play an online match of "Call of Duty: Black Ops: II" or "Left 4 Dead 3" As a girl, I find it calming to play X-Box or PlayStation.

There are limitless options to choose from to make yourself feel better.  But, whatever you choose, I'm sure it'll have at least a little impact in the way you feel. However, if you choose not to break up with that person, then I'm afraid this post has had almost no impact on the way you feel. Hopefully, in the end, you'll make the right decision, and as always, I wish you all the best of luck with your relationships and the best of luck in general =)

***Also, I will still be taking suggestions on posts. I will try to get to as many as possible. Also, like my Facebook page: Relationships and The Endless Search for updates on when I have posted new blogs and links to read them!! 

Thanks for all the support,

-Annabella F. Esposito.

"What's The Reason?"

I have been thinking about writing a post like this for a while now. So, I have finally decided to write it. Fortunately, I am starting to get myself back on track with posting regularly , but let's not jinx that. Anyhow, in this post, I'm  going to be basically talking about friend-zoning the one person who loves us unconditionally.

The big question for me right now is "how come?". "How come.." this,  "How come..." that. What I was really thinking about was how come we ignore the ones we love, and love the ones who ignore us? It's a vicious cycle. Every single one of us have that one person who is uncontrollably in love with us, and most of us are currently crushing on or in love with someone other than the person who is uncontrollably in love with us. Why? Well, I wish I knew the exact answer.

It's like most Facebook relationship statuses'; it's complicated. For example, lets say you have had a crush on this kid named Lucas for more than a year now. You keep thinking about him and you just can't get him out of your head. Meanwhile, for the longest time, another person; let's say...Halsey, who has felt the same way about you. Halsey loves you for who you are, and very rarely judges you. He/she thinks that you are the most beautiful/handsome person with the greatest personality and the kindest heart. Halsey is just plain out in love with you. Meanwhile, you feel the same about Lucas, and if you're a guy, lets say you feel the same way about Jenna. You think that Lucas/Jenna is handsome/beautiful, talented, funny, kind-hearted, amazing in all ways possible, and everything you could ever want in a guy/girl. On the other hand, Halsey is all of that and she/he loves you just as much as you do Lucas/Jenna, and then some. How come we ignore Halsey and go for Lucas/Jenna? I wish I knew.

Maybe it's because we love the ones who ignore us and ignore the ones who love us. We friend-zone the one person who is everything we could have ever wanted. We consider them a big/little sister/brother. We tell them everything, they tell us everything, we laugh with that person, we cry with that person, we even share our happiest moments with that person, yet we still go after Jenna/Lucas. I guess we'll never learn. I guess that we'll have to learn it the hard way. Unfortunately, while we're chasing after Jenna/Lucas, Halsey is stressing over the fact how they can't get over you, and at the same time, Lucas/Jenna are probably crushing on another person or no person at all. Like I said earlier, its a vicious cycle.

After reading this, do you understand where I'm trying to go with the fact of friend-zoning others? Or are you friend-zoned yourself? It's not a fun thing to do or a fun place to be, but it's life. Life has it's ups and downs, but that's what makes it worth the ride. We just have to hope for the best, but expect the worst.

***Also, I will now be taking suggestions and requests on what you guys would like me to write about. Maybe it's about abuse, or just a hard decision. Hopefully I will be able to help you with whatever the problem may be. I will try to get to as many as possible!!! =)

"Unfaithful?"

It's been a long time since my last post. I am terribly sorry. Between family situations and a visit to the hospital, everything has been too hectic to have any time to blog. However, if things may go as I plan, I should be back on track within a month or two. Anyhow, let's get back to relationships and the endless search.

What defines faithfulness in a relationship? Well, many people seem to be lacking what qualities a relationship has for faithfulness. Many people lose themselves (and not in a good way). They feel like they have lost that certain spark that kept the relationship together, and they feel as if they need to have another relationship with another person while still in the current relationship. But not everyone thinks the same thing. Some may think that one person just isn't enough and that it's alright and that they'll gain more so called "swag" if they have multiple boyfriends/girlfriends. Others may think that in order to make themselves feel better, they must date two people at once.

I'm not quite sure why people have trouble staying in the relationship, though. It puzzles me. But, for those who have ever cheated before/are cheating on someone right now, stop. Don't ever do it again. You have no clue what that person might be going through, and the last thing they need is to think that someone else doesn't care about them. Whether you have or you are cheating because you think it's cool or because of other reasons, it's still not right to cheat. If you think it'll make you cool, it wont. It'll make you seem like a flipping jerk and to some, a pimp. (Remember; "skillz" won't pay the bills.) If you're be unfaithful in a relationship to make you feel better about yourself, you're really not...you're just hurting someone else for happiness that will not last for a long time.

If you're stuck, and you're just not sure what to do in a relationship and you feel like that special spark is gone, then simply let that person know. Trust me, it'll make the other person in the relationship feel a lot better than you going and basically showing that you are unworthy of staying faithful in a relationship. Sometimes that special spark slowly fades away because of family issues, friend issues, work stress, family stress, etc. Sometimes you just can't help it. Sometimes you just need to put an end to that relationship and maybe, if that spark returns sometime relatively close to when the relationship ended, you can try and see if the other person wants to start over. If not, then maybe it's just not meant to be.

After reading this post, can you come to the conclusion whether or not you're a faithful person? Or did you say to yourself "Wow...I never knew that. I should fix this."? Maybe you read this and didn't think neither of those two things. I'm not sure, and that's because I'm not you. =) With that being said, I wish you all of the luck with your relationships.

"Back In The Day..."

I have got to thinking about relationships and my lack of posts. Well, I'm sorry for the big pause, but now, I am back on track.

Now. Let's get to thinking about relationships these days. People come and go like its their own business. It's always the nicest girls/guys who get screwed over the worst. People are getting more heartbroken, turning them into someone who now fears relationships. Now a days, people say "I love you" like they say "Hello". Yet after all of this, we all still fall into the same trap. The question is, why?

Most people can answer; and I didn't say answer wisely. You might hear the typical girl say something like, "We are in love. I love him, and Becky heard him say he has a little crush on me, hence, we should definitely be together! I mean, YOLO!"

Things have changed dramatically. As some things have remained, many have changed. Relationships are becoming less and less enjoyable as the hours pass and the days go on. People are afraid of being abused and hurt, over and over again (I would think most people), yet, we keep going back for what we already went through a hundred plus times. The question is, why? Why would we go through that again? Well, there are many answers, as I said earlier. (This is going to be a little different.) A person may be sad, depressed, etc., and they are just looking for someone to care for them, listen to them, and understand them. Another reason is simply because they haven't learned by now. Since relationships these days begin at such early stages such as fifth, fourth, or even third grade, which to me, is completly ridiculous. Just my opinion, nothing intended. Anyhow, there are other explanations, but let's not waste time trying to write them all. Anyhow, with my point being, relationships these days are going downhill faster and faster every day.

Sometimes, some of us may  think to ourselves, "Wow...I like him/her so much...but what if they're like the other people? I can't take the risk of getting hurt again...maybe I shouldn't do this..." just because of past experiences. And that's the problem with society today. It sucks. If there were a big "Welcome" sign when you enter the real world, it would probably say something like "Welcome to our generation. Here, you'll be judged on who you date, what you wear, where you shop, what music you like/listen to, who you are, what you do, and just about everything else. Enjoy your stay." and it's completly unnecessary and ridiculous. Things shouldn't be this way. That is another reason why people are so afraid to enter relationships or try something new. They mightnjust not want to deal with the pain again. Here's some advice: just do it. Don't even think about what other people will think of you. People should be encouraged and amazed on how you don't change to please others. By this, I mean don't be stuck up and annoying. Just be yourself. I know some of you may not want to believe this, but, trust me, through experience, being yourself is the best thing you can do. Lets say you like a kid named Lucas. You think he's amazing, smart, cute, funny, playful yet serious, and everything you've ever wanted. You just want to date him so bad, but everyone else dissagrees. Your friend may tell you that maybe he just wants attention or that she/he doesn't like him. That will most likely put a downpoint on your point of view, causing you to hide your feelings and keep it on the downlow, which will discourage you to date him. How would you solve this problem? The answer is simple. Ignore your friend. Don't be mean and totally wipe them off the face of your earth and just be like "Oh yeah they don't think Lucas is a good person so I just...pfft they're done, you know? Just...wiped them off the face of the earth you know? Be gone with them!" No...just stick to what you believe. Stand up and believe what you believe even if it means standing alone. Somewhere along that path you will meet someone who feels the same way.

Back in the day, things were much simpler. Relationships lasted longer because when something didn't work, you fixed it, not throw it away. Sure, there were bullies that would torment you or beat you up sometimes or friends who were actually backstabbing people, but it was to a certain extent. Of course there were big issues, but most of them did not result in suicide or cutting or other bad things. Now a days, people are taking their lives because of other people and because they just can't remain in the situation they are currently in. Here's some advice to that: Don't hurt yourself. Don't do anything you would later regret. God would never put you in a situation you couldn't handle. I don't want to get to much into that topic, but with my point being, stick to what you believe in. If you like him/her, tell him/her. Hearts are often broken by words that are unspoken. With that being said, I finish my blog with this: I hope you found this helpful, and I hope you would be able to use this in a current situation you may be in or in a future event or just about anything. That's all I have to say, and I hope you find this useful.

"Attack Of The 5'10" Women"

Living in New York, are there women here to simply make us feel bad about ourselves? Are there girls here just to tell us we're not good enough? Are there some people here in New York who we could actually become friends with? Who knows?

It seems as if the world has changed. During our parents time or for some of us--our time, things were relatively simpler. I mean, let's face it. We didn't have cell phones, but we always knew where our friends were. When we got into fights at school, we would forget about them the next day. When people were mean to us, we simply ignored them because we had better things to do. But now, girls have gotten worse. Other than the fact that some...or should I say, a good amount of irks dress as if they were 21 at a club. Girls at a young age should not be dressing like that, let alone speaking as if they were 21. Everything today seems to be about telling people off that simply did not do anything to you but you simply hold a grudge against them.

Other than the fact of mean or rude comments, some girls just make fun of the way we dress or act. It's as if they think that doing that will put us down. But for some of us, we struggle in life and these comments seem like a life ending comment. By calling us mentally retarded or simply style-challenged, are women here in New York here to make us feel bad about ourselves? Or are they just here to teach us a lesson? I mean think about it; if we didn't have somebody here to put us down and call us names once in a while or have the occasional "bully"? We most likely would not know how to deal with that kind of stuff in the future. How would we know what to say if someone starts a fight with us? We wouldn't know.

On another note, think about this; "what would the world be like if there were no "bullys" per say?" Would the world be in peace and harmony, or would we crash to the ground? For every Yin, there is a Yang. For every act of kindness, I'm positive that someone in the world is getting teased. It's not a very good thing to say, because even I myself get bullied everyday. But you learn how to deal with it. Life goes on. But furthurmore, are the women here in New York just here to make us feel bad about ourselves? It's your opinion.

"Easy Come, Easy Go"

I got to thinking about relationships and this blog. I am sorry I haven't posted yet, I have been rather busy. But that's off topic. So I got to thinking about relationships and the endless search as well as our hearts and our minds. Would it be safer to follow your heart, or your mind? Does your mind control your heart, or vice-versa?

When it comes to relationships, things can go in any direction. Things can be great, things can be bad, things can be fun, the list is endless. But should we just follow our heart in a crisis, or listen to our head? Following your heart is the most common things people say. But could following your heart lead you to disaster, distruction, or depression? Or could it lead you to the perfect relationship? (Then again, are relationships ever perfect?) Could following your head help you to think twice about what you really want? With following your heart, you don't; or shouldn't listen to what others say. It's about who you truly love, not about the looks or what one said about the other, or like a [famous] quote I once read, "Girls fall in love with wat they hear, and boys fall in love with what they see. That's why girls wear make-up and boys lie." If you chose to listen to your heart, by all means, do what you want. It's your life, after all. Don't worry if the guy you are in love with is a nerd, or a jock, just as long as he treats you right; with respect, manners; treats you like a woman, or how he would wanted to be treated.

Let's not forget about those who want to follow their head. Could it be the right decision after all? The thing about following your mind is you have a thought in the relationship. I'm not saying that following your heart doesn't make you have any thoughts about the relationship, those thoughts come from your heart. One who might follow their heads have thoughts about the relationship from their minds. Maybe a more thought out plan of what may lie ahead. But will following your head lead you to over-thinking small things about the relationship? Making mountains out of mowhills? Who knows. It could possibly be both. The decision is up to you.

So, what is safer? Following your heart, or your mind? Maybe both, actually. Some say follow your heart, but don't leave your head behind, and others say just do what is best for you. The more mistakes you make, the more you learn. So there you have it; your heart, your head, or both to chose from. Maybe you are just better off staying or becoming single, just for your own good. I am in no position to tell you what to do or what is better and what is not, the choice is yours to make. It's your life, and live it however you want to; do what will make you happy. So what will it be? Head, heart, or remain single? It's up to you now; your decision.