"One Missed Call..."

I'm positive that we've all been in that Endless Circle of Love ... Somebody loves you, while you love somebody else, and that individual loves somebody who in return, doesn't love them, yada yada yada - It's simply a never-ending circle of all misplaced emotions...
...Why can't we stop chasing somebody that we'll never catch up to, and slow down for who has been after us the whole time? Or, will that be putting the circle in reverse?

I see all this as "One Missed Call" ... That one individual we 'Friend-Zoned' - Whose love we have ignored for however long, has been waiting for us to realize that they are the one we're looking for, that they're the individual who's everything that we have ever wished for and then some. They've continued to call us, hoping one day that they would get through and we'd pick up, but we've continuously pressed decline. What's to happen once we eventually realize what we've done ... Is there still a ring of the heart, or, did we miss the calling and maybe even our fate?...
...Why didn't we stop chasing after who doesn't even care we exist, and slow down for who's head over heels in love with us? Once broken down, doesn't it seem like the stupidest thing imaginable to do? Now we may never have that individual dial our number ever again. It'd be our own fault and you can't blame them. All the answered calls and the running away suggests(ed) we're completely uninterested...
...They're probably tired of beating a dead horse, therefore deciding to move on, thus leaving us be and letting us go. So many roads - So many detours ... So many choices - So many mistakes. In the end, the whole scenario brings about a list of "What Ifs". Is it fate, or straight stupidity, which explains all of this poor decision making?

There are many questions yet to be answered...

What's the ultimate outcome of a scenario like this you might ask ... And per a personal experience, it's regretting not ceasing the opportunity and taking the risk of dating outside our caste. After all, you have to take risks so you don't wind up an old maid, and that's straight from the lips of Charlotte York herself. There's only so much rejection one can withstand before they quit altogether...
...Once we see "Mr. Perfect" doesn't want us and we accept that for what it is, how could we expect the other guy to catch us, when we fall? Ultimately, we did to him what "Mr. Perfect" did to us. Our lines got crossed within all the emotional chaos of the circle. Somebody once said that when one door closes, a window opens. And once that window opens, who'll be standing there in the midst of the breeze - The one who had loved you all along, or somebody/something completely different? 

"It's Not Me, It's You."

...Anyone who has done their share of dating, has probably found themselves on one side or the other of the, "It's not you, it's me" song and dance ... These 5 truly common words, which are striving for compassion, simply leave our exes confused and puzzling over where things went wrong. No one buys this explanation, and why honestly should they? After all, most perpetrators of the I.N.Y.I.M will tell others that their partner was completely to blame just as soon as said partner is out of earshot...

Honestly, I don't understand how such a sad excuse can carry any weight...

...If "you" are the problem, how would walking away from a possibly great relationship serve as help? Scientists are yet to elaborate. Shouldn't, or wouldn't you wish to fix any problems "interfering" with the relationship, per all of the feelings given and received and the utter avoidance of unnecessary heartaches?...

...'I.N.Y.I.M' is a sad excuse, a way of avoiding honesty and the truth along with your feelings, which provides somebody with an 'Easy Way Out' of something they're no longer interested in. This 'No Questions Asked', 'Your-Partner-Is-Practically-Half-Stunned-To-Death' definitely makes breaking up easy and simple, for you. Do you ever get to thinking about how and what you left behind once you so abruptly up and leave - Think about not only the punch to the heart that you have given your partner, but the one to their self-esteem too, knowing they had the lousiest excuse of all laid flat on them...

...Ladies, you need not shed tears over this kind of breakup ... Concur with it and think, "It's Not Me, It's You". A bit of word reversal can go a long way. 'I.N.Y.I.M' displays the ultimate coward. We need men, and not cowards - Somebody who could challenge you, who's completely genuine and sincere, prepared for the hardships a true relationship encounters and will stick by you every step of the way because of the love that never fades or leaves question. And as for the ex, I'd personally leave them in the hands of 'ole Karma. 

Apparently, Mr. 'I.N.Y.I.M' wasn't the one, and, he's far from worth it...

...Per the excuse, he definitely wasn't taking things all too serious and neither should you - Laugh it off, as if it was a bad joke or cheesy punchline. Although there is a plethora of fish in the sea, you'll one day see you've reeled in a human being who's worthy of your love, and vice versa. In the meantime, channeling your inner-fish and going for drinkies with the girls while you relax and enjoy single-life isn't bad.

P.S : Happy Pre-Valentines! For all my single Searchers, I suggest drinkies and relaxation with the girls. For those currently in relationships, I wish you Endless Happiness with your mates!

"Oh Come All Ye Faithful!"

Are relationships nothing other than the religion of the nineties?...
...It seems everyone fears being hurt at the end of a relationship, so we avoid emotional attachment - Maybe we're all simply tired of the Search that leaves us sad and furthermore alone, and we start losing hope, ultimately conforming to the views a broken society preaches about...
...However, it seems others are simply...lazy. They'd rather not contend with the necessities of a commitment or put forth the effort a relationship requires, especially since there's always a chance of heartbreak. Hence, one-night-stands after a fun Friday night of clubbing have become the sexual frontier.

What about all the relationships peeps are trying (not) to hold up? There's really no vivid effort on either side of partnerships. The Laziness-Factor renders them without a care, and once the boat sinks, it's another 'whatever'. Nowadays, when peeps catch actual feelings for somebody else, they refrain from allowing those certain feelings to be heard. It's either laziness or the fear of a sunken ship, holding them back. It's the same concept for those in relationships - Those things render them speechless, therefore, not communicating how they feel behind the smile. Why can't we woman up and accept the fact that not everything in life is going to be all sunshine and roses? If we could manage that, we would have a greater sense of realism and we'd know what to honestly expect, not only in life but in a man. It's obvious no relationship will ever be "perfect". But it not being perfect is actually what makes it so great. There'll always be an argument, or something that challenges how you truly feel, but there's always light at the end of a tunnel...
...In other words, think of it like this : You and your partner will always be walking through a storm in the middle of nowhere before you reach destination 'who-we-wish-to-be'. Instead of having separate umbrellas, there's so much more comfort standing under the same one, remaining strong not giving up on each other. In order to get that imperfectly perfect relationship, you've got to be willing to put yourself out there. It's not until you've experienced an indescribably gut-wrenching heartache, will you be imperfectly perfect with "The One" for you. It's then you will know who you truly are and who you wish to be, where you wish to be, and who it is you wish to be with through it all.

What I'm attempting to say, my Endless Searchers, is you can't give up on relationships and true love. You have to set forth the effort and the time to avoid becoming an individual that past generations would look down on ... The same effort and time the future generations would be inspired by. Don't be startled by fears or allow laziness to hold you back from your destiny and "The One". There's no harm in going out for a little fun with friends - Maybe even picking up a really cute guy that you won't remember the next day, but, every other night isn't acceptable especially depending on your age. You should have the self-respect to in the end, you'll want to meet somebody who recognizes your true beauty and colors, and embraces them ... And not only for what you flaunt on the outside...
...After a bad break-up, it's completely fine to cry, for however long you need. But one day, you'll come to realize you do have faith - Faith in yourself. Faith that you would one day meet someone sure you're the one. You'll stand up, dust yourself off and you'll keep moving forward with life. All I'm asking is that we wise up and handle things properly, letting go of these ridiculous beliefs on how to handle love lives, so that you could find the Harry to your Charlotte.

"9-1-1 : My Unfortunate Part Deux"

As you could have gathered from previous posts, my ex-boyfriend Patrick was deeply in love with me, and until any further notice, he still is, but has an odd way of showing it ... Allow me to explain this...
He purposely whacks me on the back of the head very frequently, acts so macho around all my guy friends that the motive to his actions have become terribly transparent, and enjoys clipping my possessions.
Sure, I'm a bit before my time and all, but has this really become the "it" way to show someone that you want to get back together with them? A little bitterness and teasing I can see and understand, but when it comes to personally asking somebody to stop whatever it is they're doing that's hurting you and provided the love they still have for you is actually there, shouldn't they have the decency and the respect to quit while they're miserably far behind? This has all the potential to lead to severe injuries, and it did...

On Wednesday night, I spent it doing what I truly love (which, for the record isn't him), Jazz Band rehearsals while relaxing in one of my most comforting surroundings - Friends, and quality music ... (Our skills have brought us a certain success, for instance competing/performing against/among others at Carnegie Hall, which is a major step for our talent). Much like a 9:00-5:00 job, rehearsals are from 7:00-8:00. Anyhow, as I was packing up and ready to head home, Patrick's lack of a functioning brain decides it'd be hysterical whacking me and then leaving. There comes a point where a gal has had enough, at that moment, I reached my breaking point, and subsequently telling him to "Stop" had gotten me nowhere. I had charged after him, thinking I could catch him and finally break the pattern after all ... Which was presumably the stupidest course of action that I've ever taken in a situation similar to this. Patrick stormed out the door, leaping to skip steps and quicken his pace. Unaware of rainy whether conditions, I stormed out and slid, instantly hitting my shoulder on the door as I continuously slid for what felt more endless than the search for a man, to than clash shoulder-first into the railing. I proceeded to stand up regardless of the agonizing pain and inform Patrick that I may have been seriously injured. At the time, this was laugh-off-able as I am accident prone to falling, (Hence my clever nickname AnnabelleFell). Anyhow, after the pain had grown even more agonizing, I questioned and spoke of a serious injury stemming from the accident. Instead of apologizing, and offering me some help in any way, he had a smirk on his face that showed happiness and pride as he got into the car leaving me there alone (What did I ever see in this guy?) The following day, I asked someone of knowledge to please inspect if any, my sustained injuries to then have been informed an E.R outing was more than necessary. After four hours of waiting, following some evals and x-rays, I was given a sling. Apparently, I had tore a ligament connecting my collarbone to my shoulder blade. "Yippee" I thought, as I had then come to fully realize it was my right arm of course, a week away from a music audition for the county.

One would think the video call with him would probably go like, "Yikes ... I'm so sorry, I didn't realize. I'm here for you if you should need/want anything - Again I apologize." Nope! The "man" that he is, chuckled. Pop some popcorn and brace yourselves for this ... As we had crossed paths this jerk confronted me and openly wondered the outcome of him punching my shoulder directly (That little boy would not want to know the outcome, I can promise you that). However, that aggravated and upset me beyond the fullest - There's nothing that he could do or say that would justify granting him my forgiveness or a friendship...

I haven't even gotten to my favorite part ... During these trainwreck of events, he somehow had the audacity to tell me he STILL wants to get back together, upon the next crossing of paths he'll "make his move"! How could he be the reason I wound up in the hospital sustaining these injuries, and of all the things, expect me to get back together with him?!? Something has to be missing - Either it's his common sense or the medications for the Multiple Personality Disorder he's rocking...
...A walking Dating Disaster man, I'm telling you.

The conclusion of this ADD (Another Dating Disaster) : If you're ever in a scenario like this (I hope not), don't be the key reason an ex pays themselves a hospital visit, and then of all things expect your touch to be the touch that they crave, and your love the love that they desire (And DON'T laugh, there's nothing funny). Maybe, Patrick will learn a lesson via all this and become a man, no longer a little boy. "Maybe" isn't key, "Hopefully" is proper. Still, I have many unanswered questions regarding all this, but you never really know. How could he do this, laugh along the way and expect my commitment and time?
"Hello? ... 9-1-1 Dating Emergency...
...It's Annabella, I'm in another romantic crisis..."
It's the guys like him who have made me believe the Search really is Endless...

On a lighter note though, The Endless Search is now 8,000+ strong and growing each passing day. You're all the greatest fans I could ever ask for and my appreciation much like the Search is absolutely Endless! Also, don't forget to "Like" the blog on Facebook (I'll post the link below).
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