"Is This Really Love?"

Before I get started, allow me to clarify what I  mean by the title of this post, as that could mean many things. In this post, I will be talking about abusive relationships and what I think one should do in the event of an abusive girlfriend/boyfriend. Remember, this is only a matter of opinion, so I hope to help others as best as I can! Also, this is a response to my first suggestion, made by Christine.

Anyhow, let's get to the post. Allow me to start with this: nobody deserves to be abused. Whether it's domestic violence, bullying, or abuse in a relationship, it's just not right. But, in the situation of relationship abuse being mixed with love, many seem to get lost when trying to find the right solution. Sometimes, people enter an abusive relationship because they think they don't deserve anything better than that. Most likely, people will do that because of child abuse or getting neglected by family and/or "friends" on a daily basis. This is normally followed by depression and stress.

Love can be challenging. For example, let's say you have been in love with a kid named Peter/Christina. But, Christina/Peter is an abuser, which you are not yet aware of. Peter/Christina asks you out, and you become a great couple; for now. Before you know it, Christina/Peter is yelling at you constantly, always trying to put you down, and worst of all, abusing you. It's not a fun game to play. The worst part is that you've been in love with this person for a while now so you're stuck in the decision of whether or not to stay with Christina/Peter. 

What's even more horrid is that you may fear of breaking up with that person because you fear that person may try to harm you in ways unthinkable. You don't want to break up with them because you love them, and is now afraid of what might happen if you let that person go. Well, with little experience in this chapter of relationship problems, here's my advice to you.

Let that person go. Get solid proof of that person abusing you or any other family member of yours (ex: kids, nieces, nephews, little cousins, etc.) and contact the authorities. Depending on how severe the situation is, that person should face either fines or get arrested for however many years. You may not want to let that person go, but what is a relationship if one is intended to hurt the other person in any way? Not a very good one. Once you let that person go and the pain and depression and stress is gone, you'll feel better. A lot better. To ease the tension of after the break up, hang out with some friends. Chill and watch a movie at the local theater or grab dinner at a sushi restaurant. Or, if you're like me and can't have sushi because of an allergy to seafood, grab some lunch or dinner at a steak house. Another option is to just hang out with a sibling and talk it out and watch a movie or watch TV or even play an online match of "Call of Duty: Black Ops: II" or "Left 4 Dead 3" As a girl, I find it calming to play X-Box or PlayStation.

There are limitless options to choose from to make yourself feel better.  But, whatever you choose, I'm sure it'll have at least a little impact in the way you feel. However, if you choose not to break up with that person, then I'm afraid this post has had almost no impact on the way you feel. Hopefully, in the end, you'll make the right decision, and as always, I wish you all the best of luck with your relationships and the best of luck in general =)

***Also, I will still be taking suggestions on posts. I will try to get to as many as possible. Also, like my Facebook page: Relationships and The Endless Search for updates on when I have posted new blogs and links to read them!! 

Thanks for all the support,

-Annabella F. Esposito.

"What's The Reason?"

I have been thinking about writing a post like this for a while now. So, I have finally decided to write it. Fortunately, I am starting to get myself back on track with posting regularly , but let's not jinx that. Anyhow, in this post, I'm  going to be basically talking about friend-zoning the one person who loves us unconditionally.

The big question for me right now is "how come?". "How come.." this,  "How come..." that. What I was really thinking about was how come we ignore the ones we love, and love the ones who ignore us? It's a vicious cycle. Every single one of us have that one person who is uncontrollably in love with us, and most of us are currently crushing on or in love with someone other than the person who is uncontrollably in love with us. Why? Well, I wish I knew the exact answer.

It's like most Facebook relationship statuses'; it's complicated. For example, lets say you have had a crush on this kid named Lucas for more than a year now. You keep thinking about him and you just can't get him out of your head. Meanwhile, for the longest time, another person; let's say...Halsey, who has felt the same way about you. Halsey loves you for who you are, and very rarely judges you. He/she thinks that you are the most beautiful/handsome person with the greatest personality and the kindest heart. Halsey is just plain out in love with you. Meanwhile, you feel the same about Lucas, and if you're a guy, lets say you feel the same way about Jenna. You think that Lucas/Jenna is handsome/beautiful, talented, funny, kind-hearted, amazing in all ways possible, and everything you could ever want in a guy/girl. On the other hand, Halsey is all of that and she/he loves you just as much as you do Lucas/Jenna, and then some. How come we ignore Halsey and go for Lucas/Jenna? I wish I knew.

Maybe it's because we love the ones who ignore us and ignore the ones who love us. We friend-zone the one person who is everything we could have ever wanted. We consider them a big/little sister/brother. We tell them everything, they tell us everything, we laugh with that person, we cry with that person, we even share our happiest moments with that person, yet we still go after Jenna/Lucas. I guess we'll never learn. I guess that we'll have to learn it the hard way. Unfortunately, while we're chasing after Jenna/Lucas, Halsey is stressing over the fact how they can't get over you, and at the same time, Lucas/Jenna are probably crushing on another person or no person at all. Like I said earlier, its a vicious cycle.

After reading this, do you understand where I'm trying to go with the fact of friend-zoning others? Or are you friend-zoned yourself? It's not a fun thing to do or a fun place to be, but it's life. Life has it's ups and downs, but that's what makes it worth the ride. We just have to hope for the best, but expect the worst.

***Also, I will now be taking suggestions and requests on what you guys would like me to write about. Maybe it's about abuse, or just a hard decision. Hopefully I will be able to help you with whatever the problem may be. I will try to get to as many as possible!!! =)

"Unfaithful?"

It's been a long time since my last post. I am terribly sorry. Between family situations and a visit to the hospital, everything has been too hectic to have any time to blog. However, if things may go as I plan, I should be back on track within a month or two. Anyhow, let's get back to relationships and the endless search.

What defines faithfulness in a relationship? Well, many people seem to be lacking what qualities a relationship has for faithfulness. Many people lose themselves (and not in a good way). They feel like they have lost that certain spark that kept the relationship together, and they feel as if they need to have another relationship with another person while still in the current relationship. But not everyone thinks the same thing. Some may think that one person just isn't enough and that it's alright and that they'll gain more so called "swag" if they have multiple boyfriends/girlfriends. Others may think that in order to make themselves feel better, they must date two people at once.

I'm not quite sure why people have trouble staying in the relationship, though. It puzzles me. But, for those who have ever cheated before/are cheating on someone right now, stop. Don't ever do it again. You have no clue what that person might be going through, and the last thing they need is to think that someone else doesn't care about them. Whether you have or you are cheating because you think it's cool or because of other reasons, it's still not right to cheat. If you think it'll make you cool, it wont. It'll make you seem like a flipping jerk and to some, a pimp. (Remember; "skillz" won't pay the bills.) If you're be unfaithful in a relationship to make you feel better about yourself, you're really not...you're just hurting someone else for happiness that will not last for a long time.

If you're stuck, and you're just not sure what to do in a relationship and you feel like that special spark is gone, then simply let that person know. Trust me, it'll make the other person in the relationship feel a lot better than you going and basically showing that you are unworthy of staying faithful in a relationship. Sometimes that special spark slowly fades away because of family issues, friend issues, work stress, family stress, etc. Sometimes you just can't help it. Sometimes you just need to put an end to that relationship and maybe, if that spark returns sometime relatively close to when the relationship ended, you can try and see if the other person wants to start over. If not, then maybe it's just not meant to be.

After reading this post, can you come to the conclusion whether or not you're a faithful person? Or did you say to yourself "Wow...I never knew that. I should fix this."? Maybe you read this and didn't think neither of those two things. I'm not sure, and that's because I'm not you. =) With that being said, I wish you all of the luck with your relationships.