"Forevermore."

It seems to me that no matter how hard you try to, you can't ever seem to forget your first passionate love. For a really long time, they'll be on your mind, and from time to time at any stage of your life you'll fondly remember them. Once you have experienced your first true love, there is no turning back ... There's no substitution or other real "first love", it's all them. Every time you see them, your heart flutters, you take a mental look back on all the feelings and memories of the past. Their certain look, smell and personality hitting you all at once takes you back to a simpler time. Do we ever give up on our once great love, the first one that is, or do we just lockup the spot that they once had inside of our hearts because we at one point trusted them wholeheartedly with it? I think that once we gave them that special key, they went to the store and made a million copies. In my case, it is Lucas.

It seems that once in a blue moon, that person vandalizes our hearts, smashing everything in plain view. They then leave the door off its hinges, open to anyone and everyone willing to finish the job. Although but an hour ago, Patrick and I parted ways from our relationship, Lucas still seems to be my main focus. Although I know that Lucas would never fall for a girl that is like me, I never seem to give up and quit trying to change his mind. Could it be that my current and past feelings for Lucas caught up to me, overriding those which were intended for Patrick alone? I don't know why I keep trying to win over Lucas' heart, I really don't. Those feelings that I have for him that I can't even interpret basically destroyed all that I had with Patrick. Lucas is forever chasing these chicks who're the total opposite of me - They're model thin, beautiful salon-styled straight hair, with clear skin and a killer fashion sense. Where as I don't mind eating a sandwich, have home-styled spiral curls, I prefer Walmart with the occasional Aeropostale look, I have acne and not the greatest looks with my black eyes and the color that I have in me (I'm Puerto Rican and Italian, which presents me with an olive skin tone.) With all of those differences, I still somehow force myself to believe that regardless of what these other girls have, they'll never be the kind of girlfriend and person that I am ... They'll never have my personality or my love for music, writing, and various things - Ergo, I keep finding myself going back for more, because I feel that what we could have together is well worth his time and my perpetual heartache.

To summarize what I've written, I leave you with this : Although your first great love may be in love with someone else, don't ever forget that they'll never be able to completely replace you. The new person that's in their life will not have your heart, looks, personality, smile and their love will never be able to compare to the love you had. There's so much more to what I just said and what you believe in, but we all have those stories that we never tell. I wish all of you the best of luck in your relationships and the situations that you're in along with the problems that you may or may not be facing. I also wish you all a blessed and very Happy New Year ... Forevermore, I promise you that fate does what it does for a reason and even though you may not understand why, note that there's always a solution hidden somewhere.

P.S : Thank you for all the accolades and views. I'm thoroughly thrilled to see all of the success in this blog! Love you all very much - Thank you for the support.